How to ‘Cook’ a Box-Office Hit!

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Ninety percent (or more) of movies fail to taste success at the box-office. Still, Salman Khan’s recent superhits Wanted, Dabanng and Ready have proven that it is easy to ‘cook’ a box-office hit. Don’t believe? Have a look at the following recipe for a box-office hit: –

Salman Khan: The first and foremost thing is to get Salman Khan on board as the lead actor. Do this and half of your battle is won! If you have him, it really doesn’t matter who is directing the film. In fact, it’ also fine even if there is no director!
Salman’s Heroics: Add large number of scenes that will produce seetis from the audience. For instance, fight scenes where Salman should emerge victorious and make popat of the gundaas, scenes where Salman should successfully woo the ‘heroine’, a dance number preferably as Salman’s entry scene, plenty of dialogues that add fuel to the heroic image of Salman, all ‘good’ people admiring Salman in the end, etc.
Good Looking ‘Heroine’: A good looking heroine who should be ready to match steps with Salman during song and dance breaks. I am using the word heroine instead of actress since her acting skills would be seldom used in such a film.
Songs: After regular intervals, there should be a song. Few dance tracks and a romantic number should do. An overhyped item number is an added advantage.
Supporting Cast: You need a big gang of supporting actors who continuously need to appreciate Salman’s heroics or be at the receiving end of them. Most of them should also be ‘ready’ to get insulted or fooled by Sallu.
Script: I don’t mean a watertight script or a powerful script. The most important thing is to throw all kinds of logic out of the window. Oh, you need to delete the word logic from your dictionary temporarily. Get a mixture of comedy, romantic, action and mildly emotional scenes, without thinking much about continuity or reason since Salman would be the centre of attraction in all of them. Playing of the theme tune of the movie in the background which compliments Salman’s heroics is also a must to trigger seetis.
Marketing Strategy: It really doesn’t matter if the makers haven’t worked hard while making the film but it is absolutely vital for them to pull up their socks while publicizing the movie. TV, radio, internet, TV serials, TV reality shows, banners, contests and what not should only speak about your movie. The name of the movie or its actors should ‘hit’ the public wherever they go or whatever they listen or read.

Throw these ingredients in the frying pan and voila, you get a box-office hit which would generate plenty and plenty of moolah for the makers. So, isn’t it easy to ‘cook’ a box-office hit? Of course it is when you have Sallu at your side. But wait a minute! What about appreciation? Oh come on! Who the hell cares about that when you have money flowing into your account especially in the first two weeks?

Have the British really left us?

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The atrocities being poured on the common man of India by our government and politicians often force me to doubt whether we are still living in the British era. But after looking at the way Baba Ramdev was arrested at Delhi’s Ramlila Maidan and his non-violent agitation against corruption was forcefully swooped, my doubt is absolutely cleared. Now I am absolutely sure that our leaders and bureaucrats are equivalent to the British.

Couple of major justifications given by our HRD Minister Kapil Sibal for this inhuman behavior towards Ramdev and his supporters:

Baba Ramdev is a Yoga guru so he should not do politics.
He had assured that only five thousand of his supporters will throng the Ramlila Ground in New Delhi but more than 50 thousand people turned up.

Sibal thinks that the people of India are so foolish that they will accept such baseless justifications. If a person protests against corruption, how can you accuse him or her of doing politics? Is it wrong for an Indian to voice his or her opinion and take action in a non-violent manner?

About Sibal’s second accusation, what is wrong if people show non-violent support to a man whom they believe in? It is just that the government got frightened to see such large number of people gathering to support Ramdev and going against them. After all, this could hamper their money-making process, couldn’t it?

It is crystal clear that Sibal or the honchos of our government or other politicians have no answers to these questions. Their cowardly act against Ramdev’s non-violent agitation has proved that corruption is so dear to them that they will crush anyone who voices opinion or tries to take action against it.

Baba Ramdev: ‘Fast’ and Furious!

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Renowned Yoga Guru Baba Ramdev’s indefinite fast unto death from today (June 4, 2011) in New Delhi’s Ramlila Maidan, against corruption and the black money stashed away in the Swiss Bank, is met with a thunderous response.

Thousands of his followers have flocked the ground and crores of Indians are glued onto the television to watch the proceedings. There’s no doubt that Ramdev’s act should be applauded by every Indian. But the big question is – will the Indian government, which is thoroughly submerged in corruption, will obey Ramdev’s demand?

There is around Rs 400 lakh crore of black money in the Swiss Bank. Is it really possible that the corruption infested government will bring the money back. If not that, can we really see these crooked politicians and bureaucrats themselves handing over their Swiss account money back to the nation? This looks something more difficult than finding needle in a desert.

And his demand of uprooting corruption from India, looks like even a bigger task! Is it realistic to expect that in India where not only politicians but even doctors, engineers and people from every profession indulge in corruption?

On the other hand, the government is going to have sleepless nights because if it just stays mum to Ramdev’s act, it will face humiliation not just in India but even outside. So the next few days or weeks will surely see some unexpected dramatic events.

Whatever the end result of Baba’s fight, I wholeheartedly support him as he is at least trying to achieve the impossible unlike crores of us who do nothing more than lambasting the corrupt politicians. And if he does achieve the impossible, it will go down as the most path-breaking event in the History of India after the Independence of 1947.

Ragini MMS Movie Review

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Direction: Pawan Kripalani

Production: i Rock Films, Alt Entertainment, Balaji Telefilms

Cast: Raj Kumar Yadav, Kainaz Motivala

Rating: * * *

If a horror genre flick starts off with a full length Hanuman Chalisa, it surely raises your expectations for a spine-chilling experience. Although Ragini MMS doesn’t fully succeed in terrifying you to your wits, it definitely deserves a watch (if you are non-conservative) for some creatively crafted scenes and for being a new age horror film.

Based on a true story, the film is about a brash foul-mouthed Uday (Raj Kumar Yadav) who takes his girlfriend Ragini (Kainaz Motivala) for a naughty weekend outside city at a friend’s bungalow. Ragini is unaware that Uday and his friend have rigged the bungalow with spy cameras in order to record the sexual activities between the couple. Uday’s plan goes haywire as the couple starts experiencing some bizarre incidents.

A well made horror film needs to be loaded with terrifying scenes which should also take the audience by surprise apart from telling an interesting tale. Pawan Kripalani and Vaspar Dandiwala’s writing provides that as the events in the first half have a number of frightening moments which keep the audience at the edge of their seats. There is an interesting mix of sex and horror which works and builds excitement for the second half.

As a director, Kripalani deserves applause for handling the subject with maturity. He also succeeds in shooting a horror film in a never-seen-before manner through some intelligent use of spy cams. He is aptly supported by Tribhuvan Babu’s cinematography and Jitendra Chaudhary’s background score, which thankfully doesn’t contain the overuse of loud sounds we often see in non-terrifying horror films.

The post-interval portions, however, do not amuse much. After a shocking incident (not possible to reveal), a good amount of time is spent in freeing Ragini from the handcuffs, which tests the audience’s patience after a point of time. Even the penultimate terrifying moments appear funny. It is also not explained why the ghost (who repeats the same lines in Marathi) commits all those killings. On top of that, we have an abrupt climax.

Performances are another plus point. Raj Kumar Yadav appears very real. He is terrific during scary moments. Kainaz Motivala plays her part perfectly and displays different emotions with ease.

Overall, the plusses of Ragini MMS manage to overshadow the minuses. The very low budget and positive word-of-mouth should keep its producers (i Rock Films, Alt Entertainment and Balaji Telefilms) happy.

Balgandharva (Marathi Movie) Review

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Director: Ravi Jadhav

Producer: Nitin Chandrakant Desai

Music: Kaushal Inamdar

Cast: Subodh Bhave, Abhijit Kelkar, Siddharth Chandekar, Vibhavari Deshpande, Kishore Kadam, Prachiti Mhatre

Rating: * * *

Musical plays with men impersonating women might sound unusual in today’s times but this was common in the pre and post 1900 era as women weren’t allowed to act or perform back then. This phenomenon is brilliantly presented in Ravi Jadhav’s Marathi movie Balgandharva, a biopic on the life of Narayan Shripad Rajhans aka Narayanrao aka Balgandharva, produced and designed by Nitin Chandrakant Desai. However, apart from a superlative presentation, the film lacks a powerful script.

The film follows the story of Narayanrao, a gifted singer with impeccable acting skills who won many a hearts with his performances as a woman (most of them) in Marathi natya-sangeet and how tragedy struck him.

Jadhav’s presentation and Desai’s realistic and stunning sets submerge the viewer into an extravagant yesteryear world. For this very experience, the duo deserves a huge thumbs-up. The film is loaded with a number of scenes which can move anyone. The one where Narayanrao performs even on the day of his daughter’s death takes the cake. Add to this, Kaushal Inamdar’s music, Mahesh Limaye’s cinematography, some heartfelt choreography and what you get is a treat for your senses.

Unfortunately there are flaws or setbacks in the script mostly in the form of too many songs. Although songs are an important part when a film is based on musical plays, it tests the patience of the viewer as they pop up after almost every five minutes throughout the film. Hence, viewing will be very difficult for those who aren’t interested in natya-sangeet. Apart from that, the writing slows down on numerous occasions.

As he had a mammoth task of playing a central character in such a movie, it was vital for Subodh Bhave to give a mind-blowing performance and this is exactly what he does. His acts as women appear so real that it is difficult to believe that it is a male portraying a woman. In short, he forces the viewer to stand up and applaud his act.

Vibhavari Deshpande also makes her presence felt with a mature act. Narayanrao’s comrades – Abhijit Kelkar, Siddharth Chandekar – are also lovable especially in their women acts while Kishore Kadam and Vidyadhar Joshi are perfect. Manoj Joshi does well in a cameo and Prachiti Mhatre impresses in a small role and looks naturally beautiful. Other supporting actors also deserve praise.

Overall, it takes a big heart to make something like Balgandharva. Despite shortcomings, the film is worth a watch because of the performances, music, sets and direction. At the box-office, it will surely be one of the highest grossing Marathi films of the year.

Luv Ka The End Review

Obama’s Illusion or Indifference?

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After hunting him for 10 long years, finally the US managed to kill world’s most dreaded terrorist Osama Bin Laden at his hideout in Pakistan. The US President Barack Obama broke the news and said, “Justice has been done.” This was enough to start national celebrations across the US. But is this really a reason to rejoice? Is justice really been done?

The way people are celebrating in US it seems as if terrorism is completely wiped out from the world. It will be idiotic to believe that with Osama’s death, terrorism will bow down to its knees. We all know Al-Qaeda is a large and powerful network. And they were also aware that Osama was living a very risky life.

In other words, Osama’s death was always on the cards for them. Al-Qaeda must have always thought about this possibility. Only a fool can think that Al-Qaeda must not have thought about Plan B. They surely have a good number of people readying to succeed Osama.

Plus, apart from Al-Qaeda, there must be thousands of terrorist breeding camps across the world. Finding and finishing them is going to be humongous task even for the most powerful nation on earth. But it seems President Obama isn’t concerned about this as he has made one of the funniest statements in recent times saying, “Justice has been done.”

India along with a number of other countries has been a victim of terrorism since very long. The number of lives lost in these countries is much higher than the lives lost in the 9/11 attack. So, what about the justice with India and other nations who have borne terror attacks and lost lakhs of its innocent citizens? We still need to capture the mastermind who trained and ordered Ajmal Kasab and his comrades for Mumbai’s 26/11 attack. But Obama’s statement clearly indicates he and the US were only concerned about the attack on the US without giving a damn to India and other countries.

This can also be seen from the fact that although US has promised to help India a number of times in solving the terrorism issue, they have hardly done anything practical in this regard. And Obama’s attitude towards Osama’s death indicates that he is either living in an illusion or is plain indifferent to India and other terror prone countries. I have a strong feeling it’s the latter. Well, time will tell us. Till then, let the US celebrate their Diwali.

Chalo Dilli Movie Review

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Direction: Shashant Shah

Production: Big Daddy Productions, Eros International Media Ltd, Bheegi Basanti Entertainment

Starring: Vinay Pathak, Lara Dutta

Ratings: * * 1/2

Circumstances force a man and a woman to travel together on a long journey, which has a number of ups and downs. Before the journey ends, they develop affection and respect for each other. However, they don’t fall in love nor do they get a crush on each other. This is Shashant Shah’s Chalo Dilli’s noteworthy achievement. Other than this, this road trip saga (similar to Due Date and Planes, Trains and Automobiles) suffers from a slow narrative and lacks interesting moments. It is Vinay Pathak’s greatness that makes you somewhat satisfied in the end.

The whole idea was to let Mihika Banerjee (Lara Dutta), a high profile investment banker, experience the simple rural life of India with a chatterbox acquaintance Manu Gupta (Vinay Pathak) in a journey from Jaipur to Delhi. The way both the characters meet and are later forced to travel together is interesting and their interaction gives rise to a number of humorous moments. Although not fast paced, the first half is interesting and promising.

The script, however, starts going downhill in the second half where the situations and characters thrown in fail to amuse much. The goon track and Yana Gupta’s raunchy item number just don’t gel with the story. But thanks to a guest appearance by a superstar and some moving drama in the climax, the film manages to produce a smile.

And talking about smiles, they also produced in plenty by the dialogues which are the backbone of this flick. Apart from the song Matargashtiyan, the music is not much to talk about.

Although his character appears similar to the one he played in Bheja Fry, Vinay Pathak steals the show here. He carries the film on his shoulders with his lovable acts which also overshadow the weakness in the script. Having said that, Lara Dutta too produces a mature act. This is one of her better performances till date.

Overall, Chalo Dilli, is a strictly one-time affair as it falls in the could-have-been-great categories. Due to the multiple releases, the film will have a tough time at the box-office.

Happy Birthday Sachin. A Poem For You!

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By: Keyur Seta

Over the years, Sachin Tendulkar’s huge number of fans, including me, have expressed their respect and gratitude towards him in every special manner on April 24 each year. Hence, I ran out of ideas to express my respect for him on his birthday. So, I decided to pen a poem for the God of cricket.

In the poem I have stated how fortunate we are to grow up along with Sachin’s career. Here it goes:

Unki Karamaton Ne Kiya Jawan

Jab se paon sambhale humne zameen par,
Unhone paon jamaye khel ke maidan par,
Chalne lage hum duniya samajne,
Ve chalne lage apni takdeer banane,

Hue bade to museebaten badhi,
Unhe bhi tikaon ki badhaen nadi,
Bhagwan dilate humen museebaton se chhutkara,
Unhone tikaon ko balle se de mara

Also see: Sachin Tendulkar’s 8 best bowling performances

Apekshaon ke boj se jab hum thak jate,
Un par ladi sau karod apekshaon ko dekhte,
Ve jab dete apekshaon ko hathiyar mein badal,
Prerna lekar hum karte us par amal

Hue hum jawan unke vikas ke samantar,
Rahega is baat ka garv humen jeevanbhar,
Usi garv se dete hai aapko varshganth pe salam,
Vishvabhar mein ooncha rahen sadaiva aapka naam

Dum Maaro Dum Movie Review

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Cast: Abhishek Bachchan, Bipasha Basu, Rana Daggubati, Prateik Babbar, Aditya Panscholi

Director: Rohan Sippy

Music: Pritam, R D Burman

Producers: Ramesh Sippy Entertainment, Fox Star Studios

Ratings: * * ½

Let’s face it: there is a dearth of quality crime thrillers in Bollywood since very long. But with the arrival of Dum Maaro Dum and its impressive promos, it seemed that the vacancy will be filled. The film has an interesting story and is gripping most of the times only to mess up in the climax. Hence, the vacancy is still not filled.

In Goa, Lorry (Prateik) fails to get a scholarship at a US university but his girlfriend gets through easily. Lorry is eager to be with his girlfriend in the US but is way short of funds. So he agrees to deliver a drug consignment in the US in order to earn a thick sum in a short time. Lorry is forced by his friend Joki (Rana Daggubati) against walking on the dreaded path but to no avail. Long before that, Zoe (Bipasha) had unwillingly become a part of the drug mafia as she had agreed to deliver drugs in order to fulfill her dream of becoming an air-hostess.

Meanwhile, ACP Vishnu Kamath (Abhishek Bachchan) is given the task of uprooting drug mafia from Goa. Kamath comes face-to-face with a big name in the field of drugs – Lorsa Biscuita. However, Kamath doesn’t have a proof against him. He soon gets to know that the man behind the whole scene is Michael Barbosa. But who is Barbosa? Nobody from the police force has seen him.

Director Rohan Sippy deserves praise for the way he has filmed the story. Sleek style, apt colour print, fast narration, jazzy camerawork, witty dialogues and a powerful background score make for an interesting viewing. However, it’s Shridhar Raghvan’s story and the screenplay (in the second half) that’s not up to the mark.

The scenario is build up very well in the first half but the writing loses some grip in the second. Also the re-appearance of the characters’ dark past wasn’t needed. But those aren’t the biggest problems. The biggest letdown is the climax where Abhishek’s character is sidelined and it is not revealed how the mystery is solved! Even the suspense about Barbosa is far from satisfying.

Pritam’s music is nothing much to talk about. The most important title track, a classic from R D Burman, is ripped apart in the remix by adding some ugliest of words possible. Even Deepika Padukone’s forced hot avatar doesn’t help it.

Abhishek Bachchan is having a dreadful run at the box-office but has been giving good performances. In DMD, he gives his best performance in a long time. He shows concrete toughness as an ACP and at the same time is wonderful in emotional scenes. Clearly an under-rated actor in today’s times!

Rana Daggubati makes a confident debut. Although an actor like him deserves a meatier role, he manages well. Bipasha Basu achieves perfection playing a troubled character. Prateik Babbar shows maturity but his character just doesn’t look like a 17-year old. It’s a joke!

Aditya Panscholi is good as a villain and so is Govind Namdeo as Abhishek’s assistant. Muzammil S. Qureshi, another debutant, does well and has a good sense of humour.

Overall, Dum Maaro Dum fails to make use of the opportunity of being a quality crime thriller. At the box-office, the film has a chance of earning well in the metros.