The Common Man Speaks

Law System, Government responsible for July 13 Mumbai blasts

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Of course, some terror outfit is responsible for the July 13 Mumbai blasts (Dadar, Opera House and Mumbadevi). But according to me, it’s our spineless law system and government that is more responsible for it.

Long back, Ajmal Kasab was convicted for the 26/7 blasts yet he is living a problem-free life. A terrorist who killed hundreds of innocent Mumbaikars is enjoying the status of India’s son-in-law with crores of rupees being spent on him.

Naturally, this becomes a confidence-booster for upcoming terrorists. They know even if they are convicted after attacking India, the government and law system are there to make sure they live the rest of their life with ease. So, why wouldn’t they risk committing a terror act considering they are already brainwashed?

In 2006, the TADA court started hurrying up with the 93 blast case only because 7/11 train blasts took place that year. So now because of the July 13 blasts, there might be a lot of hustle and bustle with Kasab’s case. The message is clear – we need a fresh bomb blast to solve the pending blast case. But even then, there is no guarantee that those convicted would be punished (as mentioned above about Kasab).

It seems we need someone like the Common Man from A Wednesday to punish terrorists. People might think I am being filmy but I don’t find any other solution when we have such pro-terror government and law system.

Pic courtesy - NDTV.com

Sher-O-Shayari (Part 1)

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Some of my creations when I had nothing else to do.

 

*

Itni muddat se mila unka sunehra saath,

Lakh koshishe ki par na hui koi baat,

Bas lab humare kuchh der yunhi thartharaye,

Par nigahen kambakht chup kaise reh paye

 

*

Kaaton ko na samjho yun nafrat ki cheez,

Use bhi paida karta hai gulaab ka beej

 

*

Hai din bada suhana ujala failata hua,

Par humein hai intezar andheri raat ka,

Jab neend le jaye humein us khwab ki or,

Jo hai thikana un se mulaqat ka

 

*

Taak raha hoon use is ummeed mein,

Ki badal (change) ho hawa ke rukh mein,

Aur kudrat woh sunehra nazara dikhaye,

Jab chehre pe uski zulfe lehraye

 

*

Samjha humnein unhe suraj ki tarah jo roz roshni deta hai,
Par woh nikle mausam ki tarah jo aaye din badalte rehta hai

 

*

Us aaine ki taraf na dekha karo,

Usme to har shaqs dikhai deta hai,

Kabhi jhankho meri aankhon mein,

Tumhara hi aks dikhai deta hai

 

(Hindi transliteration of the same)

*

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Shopping extravaganza called arranged marriage!

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(Note: I am not against arranged marriage. Many of my friends and relatives are happy after getting hooked in an arranged manner. It’s just that I can’t help looking at the funnier side of the whole process of an arranged marriage. So, just sharing my thoughts here and hoping this would be looked upon as ‘just for laughs’ kind of piece.)

The whole idea of an arranged marriage confuses me. I find it weird how people try to ‘fix’ a marriage between two ‘total strangers’, against the forces of nature. And I can’t help but compare the whole procedure – of a girl’s family meeting a boy’s family – with shopping. Yes, you read it right!

Before starting their search for a suitable match, the boy and the girl prepare their list of likes and dislikes in their future partner. Just like the way we think before shopping as to which brand of jeans, colour for the top, type of footwear, etc we would like.

But the real shopping fun begins when the girl and the boy’s family meet each other. The party which starts asking questions first is the buyer while the other is the seller. For example, the boy’s family will start listing all good qualities of the boy just like a salesman trying to portray his product in a must-buy manner. On the other hand, the girl’s family will try to figure out the percent of truth in their claims, just like the buyers do to make sure the salesman isn’t lying.

Pic courtesy – CartoonStock.com

After the first round, the tables are turned. Buyers become sellers and vice-versa. Now, the girl’s family will start proving how perfect to-be bahu she is while the boy’s family will do some brain-work in guessing the percent authenticity in their claims. Most importantly, both of them (girl and boy) will check whether the list of qualities in the opposite person matches with the shopping list they prepared.

If both parties are satisfied, they go ahead with the marriage. In my words – the deal is finalized with both parties benefiting as buyers as well as a sellers. In this way, a total stranger becomes the most important person of your life after just few meetings. Wow!

But wait a minute! Where the heck does love figure in this since it is the most important ingredient for marriage? Oh forget it! As long as the girl’s family can say, “Humare sar ka boj hat gaya!” and the boy’s family can proudly declare, “Humare ghar me oonche khandan ki bahu aa gayi,” nothing else matters! Not even love!

Need a better life? Commit a heinous crime!

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Our Law System needs a reality check as to whom it is supporting actually. Looking at the recent court hearings on serious crimes in recent years, I show no qualms in saying that our law is meant to support the most atrocious of criminals.

A trigger-happy Ajmal Kasab, who openly waged a war against India and killed hundreds of innocents, is being looked after as the son in-law of the nation and crores and crores of rupees are spent on him. Afzal Guru was sentenced to death for attacking the parliament but after his appeal, he is leading a normal life and the government has forgotten about him.

Suresh Kalmadi, sentenced with the most serious charge of corruption, is living a peaceful lifestyle in the prison. We all have read how he is been looked after in the prison like a VVIP.

Now, just two days back our law system once again proved its fondness for monstrous criminals by giving laughable punishments to Maria Susairaj and Emile Jerome for murdering Neeraj Grover and cutting him into 300 pieces! What’s more, according to latest news, Maria might also get an offer to be a participant in the pro-rants TV show Bigg Boss and a possible chance of winning a fortune of Rs 5 crore!!!

Moral of the story – if you are bored of your non-happening life, just commit a heinous crime. Pick-pocketing or petty thefts won’t do. Just do something extravagant and our law system and government are there to make sure you enjoy a lavish lifestyle after that!

Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap Review

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Review: Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap

Direction: Puri Jagannath

Production: A B Corp, Viacom 18

Cast: Amitabh Bachchan, Sonu Sood, Prakash Raj, Hema Malini, Charmy, Sonal Chauhan, Makarand Deshpande

Rating: * * ½

Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap has the biggest superstar Amitabh Bachchan displaying his greatness through his witty humour, heroic dialogues, energetic dance moves and most importantly, some mind-blowing fight scenes at the age of 67. However, these factors fail to amuse you much if the film suffers from a shoddy script. Just not done!

A gangster-cum-terrorist Kabir (Prakash Raj) hires an ex-gangster Viju (Amitabh Bachchan) to eliminate ACP Karan Malhotra (Sonu Sood) as he is been finishing off his gang members one by one.

No matter how bigger star you have, it doesn’t help much if your story is unconvincing and your screenplay haywire. Right from the start, there is just no focus in the proceedings with scenes jumping from one sub-plot to the other without any link. Few characters keep appearing who have no place in the plot whatsoever. Some scenes don’t even have a proper conclusion. In between, Bachchan’s heroic antics, which surely are a treat to watch, are just forcefully included especially the song ‘Go Meera Go’.

In this way, the paper thin story is narrated throughout. Thankfully, Big B’s heroic act in the penultimate moments manages to produce smiles. But again, what was the need to conclude a fun-filled film in an emotional/romantic manner?

Director Puri Jagannath’s has handled the subject in the same way he handled Pokkiri. There’s a typical south Indian touch in almost every scene. A tribute for a Bollywood legend made in a south manner doesn’t look appealing although Puri should be appreciated for some stylish scenes and seeti bajao moments.

It is the legend Amitabh Bachchan who makes this a watchable affair. The way he portrays an energetic and youthful character act at such an age forces one to stand up and applaud this actor. He is even terrific with his singing which makes an ordinary effort by Shankar Ehsan Loy come alive.  But the overuse of the colorful glasses could have been reduced. After all, Bachchan is one of the few actors who even acts through his eyes.

Sonu Sood continues to impress film after film with his bravura acts. Here is one actor who deserves many more films simply because he has a class of a character actor and also the ingredients of a ‘hero’ material. Negative act by Prakash Raj is another plus point and so is Makarand Deshpande’s.

Sonal Chauhan and Charmy fit well in their roles but their characters were not needed at all. The same can be said for Raveena Tondon who also hams her way mostly. Hema Malini is somewhat likable.

Overall, Bbuddah Hoga Terra Baap can only be seen for Big B’s heroism. That’s it! Due to the content and the fact that it is released with Delhi Belly and Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, will limit it chances at the box-office.

Something for the majority of youth please?

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Youth-based films or films about Generation Y are regularly hitting the screens in Bollywood these days. It is said that these films are specially manufactured for today’s youngsters. But in my personal opinion, all these films don’t relate to the majority of India’s youth.

Movies like Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na, I Hate Luv Storys, Aisha, Break Ke Baad, F.A.L.T.U, Luv Ka The End and Always Kabhi Kabhi do centre around young Indians but majority of youngsters aren’t like what is shown in these films.

Characters in the above mentioned films are from elite classes or millionaire’s families who spend a bomb on their dressing and looks. They wear modern branded clothes with some girls going for minimal clothing. They mostly speak in a westernized manner with words like ‘cool’, ‘guys, ‘babes’, ‘hot’, ‘sexy’, ‘dude’ ‘f***’, etc being a regular feature in their vocabulary. They regularly hangout in discos and pubs. Needles to say – one of their biggest mottos in life is to find a girlfriend or a boyfriend.

There is no denying that such youngsters do exist in India and there is nothing wrong in making movies on them. However, I am unable to understand why every youth-based film these days focuses only on such youngsters. Although I have nothing against such movies or such characters, I am just unable to relate myself with them.

There is a large majority of the Indian youth, who is stark opposite of these. They come from the middle-class or lower middle-class who think twice or thrice before spending even Rs 100 as they are concerned about their family budget. They wait for the day when they can free their parents from the responsibility of running the house.

These people are also much Indian or traditional in terms of their language, behavior, clothing, beliefs, values etc. They believe that life is much more than having a girl or a guy to hang around with. Most importantly, they are very much concerned about the socio-political situation in India.

Why there isn’t a single youth-based film focusing on the majority of Indian youth? Even forthcoming films like Mujhse Fraaandship Karoge, Virus Diwan and Student Of The Year focus on the same set of ultra-modern youngsters. But since some untouched topics are touched these days in Bollywood, maybe the day is not far away. Till then, I am waiting. Fingers crossed!

Is it Female Viagra?

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In today’s jungle-like situation, it is vital for the ad filmmakers to come up with more and more innovative ideas so as to grab viewers’ attention. Nothing wrong in this at all. But there is a thin line between out-of-the-box thinking and plain idiocy.

Unfortunately, ad filmmakers making ads for various deodorants or body sprays like Axe, Wild Stone, 18 +, etc have crossed the thin line and ventured so far into the idiotic areas that the very basic function of a deodorant (to destroy body odour) is nowhere to be seen in their ads.

Personally, I feel it is an anti-feminine concept which is garnering no protest whatsoever from any of the pro-feminine groups. If I was a woman, I would feel highly offended by such ads.

In these so-called deodorants’ advertisements, all we can see is a girl getting turned on or sexually aroused after smelling a deo from a man’s body. Her sexual excitement goes to such an extent that without watching daayen ya baayen, she just goes physical with the man although she doesn’t know him even a bit!

By showing such a thing in an advertisement, it looks like the makers are hinting that girls are so dumb that they will have physical pleasure with anyone who smells good. If this is not the case, are they giving a hidden message that in the name of deodorants, we are selling Female Viagra?

How to ‘Cook’ a Box-Office Hit!

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Ninety percent (or more) of movies fail to taste success at the box-office. Still, Salman Khan’s recent superhits Wanted, Dabanng and Ready have proven that it is easy to ‘cook’ a box-office hit. Don’t believe? Have a look at the following recipe for a box-office hit: –

  • Salman Khan: The first and foremost thing is to get Salman Khan on board as the lead actor. Do this and half of your battle is won! If you have him, it really doesn’t matter who is directing the film. In fact, it’ also fine even if there is no director!
  • Salman’s Heroics: Add large number of scenes that will produce seetis from the audience. For instance, fight scenes where Salman should emerge victorious and make popat of the gundaas, scenes where Salman should successfully woo the ‘heroine’, a dance number preferably as Salman’s entry scene, plenty of dialogues that add fuel to the heroic image of Salman, all ‘good’ people admiring Salman in the end, etc.
  • Good Looking ‘Heroine’: A good looking heroine who should be ready to match steps with Salman during song and dance breaks. I am using the word heroine instead of actress since her acting skills would be seldom used in such a film.
  • Songs: After regular intervals, there should be a song. Few dance tracks and a romantic number should do. An overhyped item number is an added advantage.
  • Supporting Cast: You need a big gang of supporting actors who continuously need to appreciate Salman’s heroics or be at the receiving end of them. Most of them should also be ‘ready’ to get insulted or fooled by Sallu.
  • Script: I don’t mean a watertight script or a powerful script. The most important thing is to throw all kinds of logic out of the window. Oh, you need to delete the word logic from your dictionary temporarily. Get a mixture of comedy, romantic, action and mildly emotional scenes, without thinking much about continuity or reason since Salman would be the centre of attraction in all of them. Playing of the theme tune of the movie in the background which compliments Salman’s heroics is also a must to trigger seetis.
  • Marketing Strategy: It really doesn’t matter if the makers haven’t worked hard while making the film but it is absolutely vital for them to pull up their socks while publicizing the movie. TV, radio, internet, TV serials, TV reality shows, banners, contests and what not should only speak about your movie. The name of the movie or its actors should ‘hit’ the public wherever they go or whatever they listen or read.

Throw these ingredients in the frying pan and voila, you get a box-office hit which would generate plenty and plenty of moolah for the makers. So, isn’t it easy to ‘cook’ a box-office hit? Of course it is when you have Sallu at your side. But wait a minute! What about appreciation? Oh come on! Who the hell cares about that when you have money flowing into your account especially in the first two weeks?

Have the British really left us?

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The atrocities being poured on the common man of India by our government and politicians often force me to doubt whether we are still living in the British era. But after looking at the way Baba Ramdev was arrested at Delhi’s Ramlila Maidan and his non-violent agitation against corruption was forcefully swooped, my doubt is absolutely cleared. Now I am absolutely sure that our leaders and bureaucrats are equivalent to the British.

Couple of major justifications given by our HRD Minister Kapil Sibal for this inhuman behavior towards Ramdev and his supporters:

  • Baba Ramdev is a Yoga guru so he should not do politics.
  • He had assured that only five thousand of his supporters will throng the Ramlila Ground in New Delhi but more than 50 thousand people turned up.

Sibal thinks that the people of India are so foolish that they will accept such baseless justifications. If a person protests against corruption, how can you accuse him or her of doing politics? Is it wrong for an Indian to voice his or her opinion and take action in a non-violent manner?

About Sibal’s second accusation, what is wrong if people show non-violent support to a man whom they believe in? It is just that the government got frightened to see such large number of people gathering to support Ramdev and going against them. After all, this could hamper their money-making process, couldn’t it?

It is crystal clear that Sibal or the honchos of our government or other politicians have no answers to these questions. Their cowardly act against Ramdev’s non-violent agitation has proved that corruption is so dear to them that they will crush anyone who voices opinion or tries to take action against it.

Baba Ramdev: ‘Fast’ and Furious!

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Renowned Yoga Guru Baba Ramdev’s indefinite fast unto death from today (June 4, 2011) in New Delhi’s Ramlila Maidan, against corruption and the black money stashed away in the Swiss Bank, is met with a thunderous response.

Thousands of his followers have flocked the ground and crores of Indians are glued onto the television to watch the proceedings. There’s no doubt that Ramdev’s act should be applauded by every Indian. But the big question is – will the Indian government, which is thoroughly submerged in corruption, will obey Ramdev’s demand?

There is around Rs 400 lakh crore of black money in the Swiss Bank. Is it really possible that the corruption infested government will bring the money back. If not that, can we really see these crooked politicians and bureaucrats themselves handing over their Swiss account money back to the nation? This looks something more difficult than finding needle in a desert.

And his demand of uprooting corruption from India, looks like even a bigger task! Is it realistic to expect that in India where not only politicians but even doctors, engineers and people from every profession indulge in corruption?

On the other hand, the government is going to have sleepless nights because if it just stays mum to Ramdev’s act, it will face humiliation not just in India but even outside. So the next few days or weeks will surely see some unexpected dramatic events.

Whatever the end result of Baba’s fight, I wholeheartedly support him as he is at least trying to achieve the impossible unlike crores of us who do nothing more than lambasting the corrupt politicians. And if he does achieve the impossible, it will go down as the most path-breaking event in the History of India after the Independence of 1947.