By: Keyur Seta

Director: Vikram Bhatt

Writers: Vikram Bhatt and Sukhmani Sadana

Cast: Bipasha Basu, Imran Abbas, Mukul Dev

Rating: * ½

Review: Bad films, naturally, make you feel angry at its makers. But films that turn out to be bad due to the silliness in various (or all) departments don’t make you (at least me) angry simply because of the unintentional laughter it induces. The latest to join the bandwagon is Vikram Bhatt’s Creature (3D), which is as hilarious as the name of the creature – Brahmarakshas.

The film is basically about how Ahana Dutta’s (Bipasha Basu) newly started forest resort in Glandale, Himachal Pradesh acquires bad reputation after a monstrous creature starts finishing off people in the nearby forest.

There is no point in analyzing a film that makes a mockery of almost every aspect of filmmaking, along with sane and logical thinking. So I would just list out some points and sequences to highlight how goodly bad the film is. But SPOILERS alert!

• A truck driver is repairing his vehicle at a secluded place. He hears loud roars of the creature from the jungle. So what does he do? Running away or hiding himself would have been such a cliché. So he ventures straight inside the jungle towards the creature by shouting ‘Kaun hai?’ more than 10 times. I completely agree with his logic.
• Worried at Bipasha’s resort getting a bad name, her bank manager visits her. Bipasha assures him that all will be fine soon and she will repay the loan amount. He replies, “Hahahaha! Arre yehi toh sun na tha aap ke mooh se!” and leaves in a hurry. Imagine – he came all the way to Glandale hill station from his bank just to listen to this fake assurance!
• Initially, Bipasha and others believe that some leopard is killing people. Soon a leopard is killed. This delights her. But guess what she does as soon as she sees the dead body of the leopard? Her to-be boyfriend romantically taunts her and she starts dreaming about a romantic song with him just when she is having a look at the dead leopard. Did the dead animal instantly made her recall that guy? Amazing!
• In one particular scene, all guests at the resort are gathered in the dining room. Suddenly Brahmaraskshas arrives. But instead of screaming out of shock or running helter-skelter, they calmly keep staring at the beast. It is only when he roars that people run for their lives. Maybe initially they thought Brahmarakshas turned up just to say a quick “Hello!” or inquire about today’s menu.
  
• Brahmarakshas’ existence goes back to the mythological era. I won’t go into it as it is too complicated. It is also a very complicated process to kill him. He can be shot dead by a gun but its bullets need to be dipped in a pond near Lord Brahma’s temple at Pushkar and that too on the night of Pooranmashi! I guess fighting corruption is simpler than this.
• But as the night of Pooranmashi is 11 months away, it is of no use for the characters to visit Pushkar now. Luckily, they find a man whose father had killed Brahmarakshas some 70 odd years ago by using 23 out of the 30 bullets (that were dipped in that pond on Pooranmashi). This man still has the remaining 7 bullets. He hands them over to Bipasha to use them to kill the monster. I guess bullets have no expiry date. Age is just a number after all!
• Bipasha and her comrades decide to search and kill Brahmarakshas at random places of their choice – an empty bus, inside a cave and the resort itself. And each time, Brahmarakshas arrives at the same place at the same time! So obedient!
• Debutant Imram Abbas, one of the guests at the resort, is shown to be someone with an evil mission. He is following instructions of his father, who constantly discourages him over the phone in Ramadhir Singh “Tumse na hoga” style. Later on, we are told his so-called mission is just to say sorry to Bipasha on behalf of his father for the atrocities committed on her father! Phew! By the way, her father had committed suicide because of his father’s atyachaars. So saying a sorry is surely more than enough.
• A dialogue – “Jis bhagwan ne meri Mumbai mein raksha nahin ki woh Glandale mein kyun karega?” Okay, I didn’t know Mumbai is the holiest place on earth!

But the biggest joke is that such stories/ scripts get financed while a lot of talented filmmakers with great ideas struggle even for their basic bread and butter.