By: Keyur Seta

Right from its inception, Bollywood has churned out some memorable flicks with some classy and landmark dialogues. However, amongst these praiseworthy dialogues, there have also been some which are plain idiotic.

Surprisingly, many of these stupid lines have appeared in movies which are highly regarded and respected. Being subjected to hearing such lines since childhood, I can’t help but make fun of them. There’s some force which is compelling me to interpret these dialogues (in capital letters) in my way, which can be more idiotic than the original lines!

–  Agar tumne uske saath shaadi ki to mera maraa moo dekhogi! – AS IF OTHER PARTS OF YOUR BODY WOULD BE ALIVE.

– Main tera khoon pee jaaunga – A HOPELESS AND HELPLESS VICTIM OF WATER SHORTAGE.

– Doctor tells a lady that her husband is no more and she says, “Keh do ki yeh jhoot hai!” Just imagine the doctor saying, “Haan aisi situations mein mujhe mazaak karne ki aadat hain.”

– Yeh gaajar ka halwa maine apne haathon se banaya hain – YES WE CAN COOK FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF OUR BODY.

– Nikaah kabool hain? – NAHIN YAAR. MAIN YAHAN ITNE ACHHE SE TAYAAR HOKE SIRF TIMEPASS KARNE AAYAA/AAI HOON!

– Kanoon ke haath bohat lambe hote hain – KAASH PAIR BHI LAMBE HOTE TO POLICE TIME PE POHOCHTI!

– Mera dimaag mat khao – MAIN SADI HUI CHEEZEN NAHIN KHATA!

– Bachne ka koi rasta nahin. Police ne tumhe chaaron taraf se gher liya hai – THEN WHY YOU SOUNDING SO PETRIFIED?

– Itne kharche? Ghar mein ek phooti kaudi nahin hain – AGAR HOTI TO BHI KYA HO JATA? IS IT ACCEPTED AS CURRENCY IN INDIA?

– Main kahan hoon? Main kaun hoon? – ACTUALLY YOU SHOULD ASK, “MAIN KYUN HOON?”

– A typical maa asks with a startling and spooky expression, “Tumne mujhe maa kaha? – GALTI HO  GAYI. PHIR SE NAHIN KAHUNGAA!

(And now the killer of all:-)

– Aage jaane ke liye tumhe meri laash pe se guzarna hoga – NAHIN MAIN ITNA BHI NIRDAY NAHIN HOON. MAIN LAASH KE SIDE MEIN SE CHALA JAAUNGA. I WILL MANAGE ALL RIGHT!

Having made fun of all these lines, I still want the idiocy to continue so that I can write more such blog posts!